When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
