In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
