youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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