I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
