Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
