I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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