So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Welp...herpes.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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