Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I die, sorry about rent.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
