...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
