Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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