I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i believe in u and ur pee
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
