Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
