Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
