only if we run a train.
done.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
