yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
