He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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