I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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