i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
