I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
