As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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