I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
