Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
