Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
