Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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