I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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