there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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