Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
