I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
