oh fat girl friday strikes again...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
