there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
