Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
