I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
