Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
