Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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