stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
