Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize