I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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