Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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