ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
