i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
