you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
