guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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