I wanna bring you to show and tell
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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