She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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