That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
