So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i think im in europe. pls send help
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