in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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