4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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