just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Your tits are I can't wait for
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
