We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
