Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Mom said you looked used
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
