Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
