Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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