k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
