Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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