from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize