Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
