I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
