At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How external is "for external use only"?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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