I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
