ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
