a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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