Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
