Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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