Tell her she can't have a vagina
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
