im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
